Meeting New People
Dear Both Ends: Do you have any good ideas on where to meet men? I am recently
divorced, don’t have any children or debt, except for my mortgage, and I am looking to
get back into dating. I work out daily and feel that I am very attractive. I am
predominantly a one-man woman, that is to say I will only go with one man at a time.
I am not into going to bars or clubs (unless it’s Las Vegas) and I find the whole idea of
Internet dating repulsive. Do you have any suggestions?
Dawn, age 35, divorced six months, no children, cosmetologist.
Dr. Gomes: Your desire for a partner is healthy. Where did you find you previous partners and
your husband? Couldn’t you find a candidate at the gym? I really do invite you to consider
Internet dating. Most people meet partners through work and social connections (church, clubs,
etc). Internet dating has become more common and acceptable. It does not mean you are so
unacceptable that you can’t find a partner the “normal” way. This increases your potential pool of
partners (propinquity). The best advice, however, is to live a full life doing what you like to do.
This way you’ll find a partner who has similar interests. You will start off as friends which is
certainly a great start. Additionally, I do think you could benefit from understanding your part in
your failed marriage. Learning about how you relate to others will help you increase the likelihood
of success in your next relationship. Chances are that you will repeat patterns in your next
relationship along with any baggage unless you are aware of those patterns.
Suggestion: Read “ In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want ” by Iyanla
Vanzant .
Larry Star: Being a cosmetologist doesn’t really allow you to meet a lot of heterosexual guys,
does it? Let me address the online dating thing in a bit. First, try going to places guys like to go—
ball parks, gyms, beer fests (oh, wait, that’s out.), race tracks, campgrounds—places like that.
You can meet men doing things of interest to you. If you are into dressing up with geeks, go to
a Renaissance Fair. If you are into computer nerds, you can go to an Expo. If you want a dumb
manly-man, go to a Monster Truck rally. Men are out there. And they are always looking for new
meat, er—uh, I mean the company of a good woman. Now, why do you find online dating so
repulsive? It is, for the most part, safe, and it can be done in your own home, on your own time,
and at your own pace. Or, take your laptop to the nearest coffee shop and sit with the other
lovelorn folks perusing the dating ads. Maybe the guy sitting next to you can steer you to where
the men are.
Suggestion: Listen to Frankie Avalon’s “Beauty School Dropout”.
Both Ends: Dawn seems to be an emotionally healthy woman. Dr. Gomes and Larry agree that
she should expand her possibilities by trying computer dating. The worst thing Dawn could get is
a virus.
Dear Both Ends: Do you have any good ideas on where to meet men? I am recently
divorced, don’t have any children or debt, except for my mortgage, and I am looking to
get back into dating. I work out daily and feel that I am very attractive. I am
predominantly a one-man woman, that is to say I will only go with one man at a time.
I am not into going to bars or clubs (unless it’s Las Vegas) and I find the whole idea of
Internet dating repulsive. Do you have any suggestions?
Dawn, age 35, divorced six months, no children, cosmetologist.
Dr. Gomes: Your desire for a partner is healthy. Where did you find you previous partners and
your husband? Couldn’t you find a candidate at the gym? I really do invite you to consider
Internet dating. Most people meet partners through work and social connections (church, clubs,
etc). Internet dating has become more common and acceptable. It does not mean you are so
unacceptable that you can’t find a partner the “normal” way. This increases your potential pool of
partners (propinquity). The best advice, however, is to live a full life doing what you like to do.
This way you’ll find a partner who has similar interests. You will start off as friends which is
certainly a great start. Additionally, I do think you could benefit from understanding your part in
your failed marriage. Learning about how you relate to others will help you increase the likelihood
of success in your next relationship. Chances are that you will repeat patterns in your next
relationship along with any baggage unless you are aware of those patterns.
Suggestion: Read “ In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want ” by Iyanla
Vanzant .
Larry Star: Being a cosmetologist doesn’t really allow you to meet a lot of heterosexual guys,
does it? Let me address the online dating thing in a bit. First, try going to places guys like to go—
ball parks, gyms, beer fests (oh, wait, that’s out.), race tracks, campgrounds—places like that.
You can meet men doing things of interest to you. If you are into dressing up with geeks, go to
a Renaissance Fair. If you are into computer nerds, you can go to an Expo. If you want a dumb
manly-man, go to a Monster Truck rally. Men are out there. And they are always looking for new
meat, er—uh, I mean the company of a good woman. Now, why do you find online dating so
repulsive? It is, for the most part, safe, and it can be done in your own home, on your own time,
and at your own pace. Or, take your laptop to the nearest coffee shop and sit with the other
lovelorn folks perusing the dating ads. Maybe the guy sitting next to you can steer you to where
the men are.
Suggestion: Listen to Frankie Avalon’s “Beauty School Dropout”.
Both Ends: Dawn seems to be an emotionally healthy woman. Dr. Gomes and Larry agree that
she should expand her possibilities by trying computer dating. The worst thing Dawn could get is
a virus.
